In New York City there is a fine line between law and chaos.
On that line live Danson and Highsmith.
Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof?
I think you can chop that up to bad life choices
Get rid of that asshole -- O o
I knew when you say "O o"
O dude, you put a dent in my hood.
Come on.
That's trouble
Uh .. Did someone call 9-1-holy shit?
That's it .. I'm sick of all this running
-- Hang on ...
[Slow] You have the right to remain silent ...
... but I want to hear you scream ...
Stay on the ground!
Detective ! Detective!
One at a time , all right?
Yeah Detective, Rick Rayston, New York Observer ... online
These suspects were caught with only a quarter of pound of marijuana ...
... ,a misdemeanor in some states. Do you think this arrest was worth 12 million in property damages?
Why don't we let New York City answer that question?
The greatest city on earth! Yeah !
Uh .. Sarah Capone from TMZ ... prince edition,
uh, Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true?
No comment.
But, yes.
Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs ... for life!
No drinks ... No drinks Can't do it ... I can't do it
Danson and Highsmith, shoot, drive and sex in style
They are rock stars ... Then you got your jokers,
your ball busters, your vets ...
... and the other guys ...
We know ... we know .... we know ...
all right .. all right .. all right .. listen up! listen up!
We have a celebration tonight at Butter,
Brody Jenner is gonna be there ..., Bai Ling ..., Della Shortpit from Jersey Shore ...,
And ... most of you are on the list -- You're the best.
And I'm gonna say something right now, it's about a man who came from Austria ...
... with a dream -- Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Let me finish.
He became a champion, and a movie star ...
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger!
God damn it, let me fini .. They ruined the story ... they ruined the story
No, the point is, we couldn't do our job if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork, ...
answering the phone and all the stupid shit that we don't like to do ...
All the gun fights, all the car chases, all the sex we don't want to have with women ... but we have to ...
All due to what you guys do. Thank you.
And we do it again and again -- Ay, ay, ay! You shut your face!
If we want to hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!
You hear me? You hear me?
... - Peace out, bitches.
Hey, fellas. all right, bring it in. Come on, bring it a little bit
All right. Right there. Just back .. right there
Just ... just one ... there you go ... right there .. right there
This is their paperwork, you know they are not gonna do it
- That's right - This paperwork work is like Bob's wife here
Stick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it. No offence, Bob - That's all right
Anyway, now who wants it? -- I do
All right! Paper bitch and Yankee Clip are on the case. -- Nice work. Thanks, Allen.
Thank you, Captain. -- I do it. I do it
[Humming]
Stop humming that song! -- I can hum if I want to
I know you can, I am asking you to stop.
Well, if you're asking then I'll stop. -- Thank you.
Could you not smile like that?
Now you're asking me to mask my emotions because of how it makes you feel ...
that I will not do
Seriously, stop humming! Ok? This isn't accounting or wherever the hell you and your little pockey calculator were transferred from
Forensic accounting. Ok? It is an important part of the job - Yeah Whatever
Stop being verbally happy about doing shitwork, you moron - Hey guys
Reminder: The police unit picnic coming up this weekend.
My wife's making her famous devil eggs again.
My waistline is furious. -- It's a bad time, Bob!
All right
I wanna get that slice
You know what I just did? I just walked out that door ...
saw a couple of detectives down there and I was about to start badmouthing you behind your back ...
but I stopped myself because my Pop taught me that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.
Wow, I actually appreciate that. -- Good, coz I am gonna tell you directly to your face!
No, you don't have to -- No I don't like you
I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine
If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain.
I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna,
I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Ok, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water
If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave,
I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends,
you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what,
you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves.
We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'.
We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and
we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring. -- How you gonna do that?
We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen.
It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem.
That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you
You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.
Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope!
Two minutes before the markets open, Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global
ringing the opening bell. With Boardman is investment banker, David Ershon, who manages 40% of Lendl $70 billion equity pool
How much did we lose?
You may ring the bell now Ms. Boardman. -- 32.
Million? -- No, billion
Chinatown, three triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw. Bang! Bang!
Then I raise up to take the leader out. -- O shit! I feel like I'm there now
I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof.
He says: Let's even the odds!
He tosses me down a mos?? pump, I sent one through his chest.
Game over, bitches
Jimmy, let's talk about how that story made you feel
Like a Viagra pill with a face.
I know it's very tempting. You wanna impress your friends ...
but this is serious stuff we're dealing with. Ok? This is firing your weapon in the line of duty
Officer Hoitz
Here we go. -- Would you like to share?
I'd rather not. -- Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here for six months.
And you haven't said a word. Safe environment, no judgement here -- Douchebag
-- That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on.
I relive it every night.
The Bronx, October. Game 7 of the World Series.
Got a marvellous high pressure handling the crowd. I pull tunnel duty
Then I saw a shadow figure in the tunnel. I told him to stop. -- Wow wow wow
This is a restricted area. I finally pulled my gun.
Don't make me shoot, I'll do it.
Are you deaf?
You dick, I'm Derek Jeter. You shot me
You cost me 20 grand on that game - Douchebag
I cost the city a championship. I was being groomed for top position in Homicide
Now I'm stuck with a desk junky partner and everybody calls me the Yankee clipper.
Because you shot Derek Jeter -- He's a biracial angel.
You should've shot Evra
Yo, Paper Bitch. -- What's up man? -- Hey guys
Paper bitch! Paper bitch -- I don't like that actually. I know you guys think it's fun. But I don't like that.
Still working on Danson and Highsmith paperwork? -- No, actually ...
What is this? - Guys -- Illegal permitting for construction.
Specifically scaffolding -- Some of the guys were talking ...
they are like, how come you never fired your weapon in the office before? -- Good point.
I am sorry. I don't follow -- You never fired your weapon in the office.
We all have, you know, it's called the desk pop. -- Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer
Not true, --I'm not stupid. I am not going to discharge my firearm in the office
Listen to me! I'll try to make it real clear. We honor the flag. And you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office
Jimmy, when was the last time you had a desk pop? -- September 2008.
Be a man. Do it.
Please, please do it. -- Pop one off!
Pop it off -- Don't think just go!
Here we go! -- Yes!
Hey, shot fired! -- Hey Terry! I did it! I did my first desk pop
It's a real thing right? -- A desk pop?
Yeah! -- Not it's not! -- They were so convincing.
.. in their argument. They swung me.
You're gonna have to hand over your gun -- Yes, sir.
Captain, If you really want to disarm this guy, take out the batteries in the calculator.
All right, I am gonna give you this: This is a dummy gun. They used this for ceremony.
You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it
Listen guys, I am working two jobs: I am working here, I got another job at Bed, Bath and Beyond
Ok? I am doing that just to put the kid through NYU so he can explore his bisexuality ...
become a DJ. Now the last thing I need is a ballistic report in the unit. Just gonna ask you guys. Please, come on!
Really, just think about it. Just be smart.
2-11 in progress. They are using a wrecking ball to clean up Caspian Jewellery
We got it! -- Good luck guys, have a good one.
Let's go! -- No, I got work to do. -- What? This is work.
Danson and Highsmith are rolling heavy
Creampuff, sit tight. -- You got to be shitting me?
You can't keep cooked up in here, ok?
I am a peacock, you got to let me fly.
Did he just.. did he just call himself a peacock?
Let's go!
Come on, fellas. Wednesday night is taco night at Rancor's island
Awww, The second one this week.
Hey you monkeys! Stop!
Let's go!
Hands up.
Special Forces zip line
These guys are pros
You're thinking what I'm thinking, partner? -- Aim for the bushes.
Cops still argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jump
Maybe it was just pride having survived so many brushes with death.
Maybe their ego pushed them off I don't know
But that shit was crazy. Either way ...
there was a hole in New York City that needed to be filled.
Two days ago, the City wept, we lost two heroes who get everything for us ...
who pay that ultimate sacrifice so that we may walk these streets safely
There wasn't even an awning in that garage -- No, I know
They jumped from 20 stories -- Doesn't make sense, does it?
I only hope Got lets them take their .357s with them to heaven to keep, to ... -- It's our moment, Allen
Our moment to step up and be the guys
We're at a funeral. Show some respect.
What? You don't think every other detective here isn't thinking the same thing?
Allen, listen to me, Danson and Highsmith are gone. Their desks right? Someone has to fill those seats
And that someone is us
Ok? The city's dying for a hero -- Is it?
Yeah! -- What about nine million socially conscious and unified citizens all just stepping up and doing their part?
As a little kid, didn't you dress up like cops and a robbers?
I'll tell you what I did as a little kid, I went to school, I made my bed ...
and at age eleven, I audited my parents.
Believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded
What the hell are you ? -- Well, well, well. What we got here?
Look at these two jummocks, would you?
One shot Jeter and the other shot an office.
Have some decorum, we're at a funeral. Shhh
You want to dance, huh? I will rock your body with big nasty hooks
Ripping some blood out of your ass. -- That's horrible -- Would you step back, man?
You touch him, I swear to God I am gonna beat the shit out of you with Allen's head
-- He's not gonna do that. That's like verbally, but that's one weird example
You wanna go? -- I wanna go!
Kick his ass, Martin! -- How do you like that?
Really sorry for your loss, mam -- Lovely hat
I love your shoes. -- It's fine. It's fine -- Go! Go!
Ah, man!
You don't know how to do it! That's how you do it in the hood!
Pay the winner. Pay for the winner. Everybody saw
What the hell is going on here?
Two good men are dead and you guys are fighting ...
of who's gonna be the next hot shot, huh? Is that what's happening? -- Yes, that's exactly what's happening
Let me say something about those guys. They knew that to become a good cop, you have to solve cases...
Ok? And maybe you start with Castian robbery. Ok?
Watch it!
Next time: Me, You, Library -- Not even close
I am the winner. -- I didn't need you to stick up for me ok?
I could've handled that myself. -- Don't flatter yourself.
It's partners Code. I had no choice.
9:15, let's have a great day everybody -- Cut the shit!
Good morning.
We've got shot fired. 509 East 10th Street.
There are large amounts of cocaine on the scene. Try to stay out of trouble, boys
There's no chance you are going on that call right? -- No chance, too busy.
All right ladies, starting to get the picture? We're about to lock shit down. -- That's right
You girls stay here and get your type on -- Go get them guys. A lot of energy, a lot of focus.
Shut up. -- Allen, Can I see you in the hallway for a second?
I .. I'm super busy right now -- No, no, no, I know. This will be real quick.
It's about the construction permits we talking about -- The Scaffolding violation?
This is our thing. Yeah.
So, so what do you got? -- I got this.
I hope you like your neck. -- What are you doing? -- Let's go
We go to that call.
What is this? -- Shut up! We're going to the car ...
and we're going after this case. -- You're not gonna shoot me.
I won't ? -- No -- I shot Jeter.
That was an accident. -- Was it?
Move
Anybody see this? He's got a gun on me
I am being kidnapped. Really? We're in a police station and no one is seeing this?
So then what happened?
What do you think? I woke up, I took the belt off my neck and I got my car and I got out of there
Talked about a wild weekend, huh? -- I thought I was going to shoot my way out
What are you gonna do though, you know? Bar Mitzvah's.
What the hell is this? -- It's my car. It's a Prius
I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina
Detective Hoitz and Gamble on that 5-18 on East 10th.
Negatory, Martin and Fossi. Two minutes. Out.
We'll just see who's there first. -- You stay out of our crime scene. You hear me?
Go! Go! Go!
Feel that Allen? Huh? That ting-a-ling in your balls, big net of butterflies flying around in your stomach?
Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer? -- I got something to keep you going
Let's go do some damage!
Nope
What the hell is that? -- LRB. Little River Band.
This music makes me feel like I am going shopping for training bra.
You know what? We go with no music, ok? Good bye. -- No no
You just signed your death warrant, Hoitz! -- Allen, punch that accelerator or I'll shoot in you in the foot.
America!
Allen! The brake. Just slow the car down
We're going to the crime scene. -- Yeah, yeah
Dude! -- It's a lot of cocaine.
Did you yell 'America' when you hit the accelerator?
Nope. No.
I never actually put my foot all the way down to the ground with the accelerator like that
You got me slightly aroused.
Here we go.
Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys
A Prius huh? -- Yeah. Yup.
Good mileage? -- Oh. Outstanding
Did this come with a dental dam?
Get it?
... shit one of these last night -- I don't know that they put tampons on wheels.
They have their fun, huh? -- Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car.
All right, everybody. We need y'all to back up now. We're taking over
"At the crime scene. LOL. " -- Good tweet. -- Yeah
America was always been defined by its excess.
The Grand Canyon, professional sports contracts ...
Wendy's bacon and eggs, extra bacon.
I myself have 18 Lamborghinis
And a Subaru station wagon.
And it's because of this excess that I have flourished, I employ you.
Please, do not stop profiting. Live for excess.
It's the American way.
Mr. Ershon, I believe this call is for you.
This is David. -- David, you're not returning my call, so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley ...
G'day, mate!
Roger is gonna babysit you because I don't trust you. Because I think you are going to take off
Pam, this is ridiculous, I'm not going anywhere.
David, listen, The Lendl quarterly come out on the 26th. You have until then to give me my money.
I am not reporting any losses, David. -- I have zero debt on the new investor. -- Then you get their money and get disappeared and pay us back.
Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't have to keep watching me.
So you're good to go.
Heard everything, mate. -- Ladies and gentlemen, guess, who gave me the secret to making ...
my first billion dollars?
That man. -- Go.
Go. To the side please.
You don't think I'm a real cop, do you? -- No, I don't. I've said that directly to your face numerous times. I was really honest about that
We are on a huge case. All right? Property owner. With 7 buildings under construction, he hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit
Now, according to S Geeves, this Perv is at Plaza Hotel speaking right now
That's your big case? Scaffolding permit?
Yeah. Guess what. You're coming with me.
That's a wooden gun.
Ow, that hurts, man.
I've always got Little River Band loaded. I got 6 discs in here.
Meet me outside at the back of the service entrance
I am flying Air Singapore. Hey Douglas, how's the wife?
She died. -- Atta boy! I'll be there in two minutes exactly.
Another thing I hate: You always pay in exact change
You're just mad because I have a nice change purse
Why do you even care? -- How can I help it? You know what?
You know what's worst? The way you fart. Even your farts. They're not manly
You're being ridiculous. -- They sound like a baby blowing out the candles at a birthday cake -- What?
A little ... bzzz -- You know what bugs me about you?
What? -- I'm pretty sure you've never voted -- Oh I vote. Sports Regular AMA 80. Player of the week.
You're like a child in a leather jacket. That's what you're like. -- Get out of the way man
Wait. Are you David Ershon?
Yes, Sir David Ershon. Doesn't matter. I am in a little bit of a rush
Gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you -- Excuse me, but you are under arrest
Ok? You have the right to remain silent
Anything you do or say can be used um ... What 's the next part?
As a floatation device -- As a floatation device. Ah You know what?
Very funny. I have never apprehended anyone before.
Really? Are you guys for real? Am I being punk'd?
Detective Allen Gamble, we are in a cocaine covered car and we're bring in a Perp...
one David Ershon ... -- 175 pounds
175 pounds. Thank you -- Shut up man! Shut up!
Martin and Fossi are probably on Studio beach talking to Sheppard Smith right now ...
We arrested this jerk-off for a scaffolding permit
W..wait, what am I being arrested for? -- Scaffolding permit violation.
I got my insurance card ... -- Easy, mate.
They are driving into us. -- Stand over there. Wood.
Couldn't see the car? It's big enough, mate? -- What?
Do not let this man take me. -- ...
Hi .. -- Why is she looking at you like that?
That's my car. Hey, hey, hey. We didn't exchange .. insurance information
Excuse me. Why did they take our shoes?
What the hell just happened? -- Where's my iPhone?
I think we walked 30 blocks.
I don't get why we can't just call the office and have a squad car come pick us up?
No, they took our shoes, our guns and our car. There's no way this going out on the radio
If we gonna do this together, there are some issues we need to settle, ok?
You said I had a weak chin, you said the way I peed in feminine. How do you think that makes me feel? I mean,
That list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird.
I hear you.
Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start
All right, fresh start.
Maybe we should uh call ourselves the Fabreeze Brothers, cause it's feeling so fresh right now
Right? -- Instead of a fresh start, I just wanna punch you in the face
Fresh start
It's the last one -- I have to be able to express myself and say things you know
Hey folks, everyone listen up -- Listen up!
We got a high profile kidnapping. David Ershon, wealthy banker.
Multinational team. Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell
Hey, Double Baggins, where are your shoes? Your feet are black.
Who cares? It's not important ok? -- Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good.
Bye, guys. -- Come on.
This is Don Beaman, an attorney for Mr. Ershon. Roger Wesley, head of his private security.
Hey, How are you, son of a bitch? -- Hey, hey, hey
Take it easy. That's the guy who took our guns, Captain -- And my shoes.
Wait a minute, did you identify yourselves as police officers? -- What is this?
Allen, tell me, did you? -- No, we did not
Sorry gentlemen, we thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon
It's only protocol. -- Mr. Ershon has agreed to ...
correct this scathlic situation. Case is closed. - I've taken care all the necessary paperwork ...
... and you fellas, this point, you just be glad that Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for an excessive use of force
Thank you Captain
Special Forces, right?
Just watch your step, detective There are three things I love in this world
Kylie Minogue ...
small dimples just above a woman's buttocks -- Beautiful features
And the fear in the man's eye who knows that I 'm about to hurt him
Hey, shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over.
Come on.
All right, they return your shoes. And they your weapons. Here you go, Terry.
Allen, someone is nice enough to put linseed oil on it. Some kind of stain on that. Dark walnut or something. You may wanna think about dropping them a thank you note
Ok, you're mad at us, huh, Gene? -- First off, don't call me Gene
I am your Captain
Guys, do you remember the "be smart speech"? -- Sure
All right, what did you do?
What did you do about it? -- The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene.
Just Captain. Just Captain. It's not Captain Gene. I do not have a kitty show.
Sounds creepy, Captain Gene
Police mistakenly arrest investment banker David Ershon.
Was he a victim of financial profiling? -- Financial profiling?
That's crazy. He broke the law and we arrested him.
There wasn't a security tape. He said, don't let these people take me
I mean when you hear hooves, you think horses not zebras.
What about donkeys or deer? They have hooves What about bovine creatures?
Were you just thinking yourself a fresh start? -- Yeah -- Yeah
I could see it
Listen, why don't we just go to my place, talk the case down, we can have a little dinner and you can meet Sheila.
Two cops talking down the case while eating food, right? It is not dinner. -- Fine
And let me apologize in advance ok? In case my wife acts like a world-class bitch
She is a big ol' broad and she likes to wield it.
Ok, so I put together a little bio, complete with pictures of Mr David Ershon.
I use uh Adobe Premier I like to do a weekend editing recently just cut 3 minutes out of Goodfellas
David Ershon, is currently the CEO of Ershon Consortium.
Who is that talking? -- It's a frontline narration app. It's only 99 cents.
Ershon Consortium's current financial investment exceeds $70 billion
It's largest clients includes Schering Plough and Lendl Global.
Lendl Global has those TV ads and I can't figure out what they are doing
Oil, media, healthcare ... You probably heard their jingle
Lendl Global with everything ...
David Ershon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia and the lead singer of Maroon 5.
I mean this guy can be connected to drug cartels. Or black market organ sales
Human trafficking, all of it -- How do you get that from anything I just said?
Hey guys, the soup is on. -- What do you mean?
Hi .. -- Hi -- You must be Terry. I'm sorry I've been hiding honey
... but this dinner was tricky. -- Who are you? -- I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.
Come on, seriously, who is that? -- His old lady. -- Sweetie
It's a workstation
-- Got it -- You come in here dressed like a hobo is just distracting -- I know you are working. I am so sorry
Come on, seriously.
Who is that? -- That's the old ball and chain
Get over here.
Not right now. - Ok
Look, they're not all first round pick ok? -- Come on, you're gonna tell me who that is?
Are you really Allen's wife?
Umm I know, people are shocked. Because he is Episcopalian and I am Catholic ...
but, somehow it works. -- Are you gonna change?
I already did. -- It's no big deal. You look really really nice
Terry, you don't have to be polite. She looks kind of shitty.
Don't speak to her like that, Allen.
Look, If I put that into my Cosmo questionnaire, you got a D-
Allen and his aps. He loves them. You know he has designed three of his own?
One of them, can I tell?
Take a picture of anybody's face and I'll tell you how the back of his head looks like.
Face back. -- I get some horrible reviews coming out of the Gate.
It's gonna hit -- It's gonna catch -- Why are you with Allen?
I mean .. That is not what I meant ...
How did you guys meet? -- It's a really typical how we met story, Terry.
You'd be bored by it -- I was a dancer for the Knicks ...
while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital
Allen came in to the ER with poison ivy on his rectum. -- Yes
Needless to say, I fell for him immediately
It's funny .. It's like a scene from that one movie, I always forget the name. With Meg Ryan.
I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan met a guy with poison ivy on his ass.
I'll think of it -- So what about you, Terry?
Do you have a girl? -- I did, yes.
We almost got married but she backed out. It's complicated.
Terry shot Derek Jeter. -- Shut up, Allen. This was before.
That's okay. -- She's Got Mail, that's the name of the movie. -- That's it
With Tom Hanks? -- And Meg Ryan -- Hi didn't have poison ivy up his ass.
Yes, he did -- Way up there.
Well Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by. What a wonderful lovely evening, thank you.
It was so so nice meeting today -- My pleasure. Thank you.
And remember, all I ask of you is don't let him get hurt, Terry.
She tells me that every day before I leave.
I do, we come downstairs and make him his fresh cut strawberries
And I say: Listen my little sugar bowls, whatever you do today, you just don't get hurt
Every morning. -- Then I show him my breasts and I say:
These are waiting for you when you get back home
You know Terry, they are not the biggest breasts I've ever seen, but ...
They are perky, and they are firm and they are yours. -- You're a nice lady
Thank you for coming. -- Detective Hoitz and Gamble. Detective Hoitz and Gamble. Over
We've found your Red Prius. It's trying to vote for Ralph Nader
Come on. -- Hey sugar bowls, listen up!
There'gonna be fingerprints in that car. And tomorrow, we 're gonna run those fingerprints through the system
If we get a hit .. this case is gonna heat up faster than a junkie spoon
You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow ... bring it. Thank you, Sheila.
He'll bring it. Good night. -- Good night
Thank you, Sheila. -- Bye, Terry
Bye, Sheila.
I will never forget tonight. -- Bye, Terry.
Whatever, go inside. Bye, Sheila.
Bye. -- I see you, Terry.
Bye, Sheila -- I do not know if he heard me. Bye, Terry.
Bye, Sheila
Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night
Did you find anything? -- Yeah, we found a lot of stuff
From bodily fluids and hair samples, we determined that a bunch of old homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.
Oh God. -- Yeah, you know what that's called when they do that in there? It's called a soup kitchen.
It's pretty rough stuff
Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along, and gave birth on the floor.
What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints?
No, couldn't get a one. -- Found a cellphone -- Yeah
that's mine -- Any sign of a struggle or ... ?
No, believe me, everybody who was in on this orgy was more than willing. In fact, they left you a note here .. Thanks for the F-shack
Love, dirty Mike and the boys
Here's something we found. We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets No fingerprints no nothing. You want to check that out
It's a real shame you know. I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine
It's my first brand new car
I never owned a new car
Watch out, in the back there is was a baby mouse and a used condom. Really gross
I have a free ticket
What are we gonna do? We got no fingerprints ...
a bunch of losing lottery tickets ... -- Look at this, there was a two minute phone call made after we were jumped.
They used your phone? -- A ghost dialled. Somebody sat on it
Could've recorded some of the conversation when Ershon got grabbed
We can hear the other side of that call.
No, it's nothing. -- Nothing?
It's Nothing! It's Nothing -- It's the only thing we have Why did you just get super jumpy?
What? - It is an ex-girlfriend, ok?
What's the matter? What happened with you guys? - She was just a bit of a handful. That's it
Xie xie. - Here you go
Allen. The only lead we have, we have to go with this or we walk away from this case right now
Fine. Let's go see her.
Hello, Christineth. -- Hello, Allen.
This is my partner, Terry. -- Hi, Terry.
Shit - Take it easy.
I waited for you in Tower Record for four hours
That was 13 years ago
Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert Who wants some Arnie Palmie?
Sweetie, this one is the vodka right here -- Hal, just please sit down please
All righty. - I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since.
No.
Christineth, it's your husband, it's awkward -- No, he knows
You're a lucky dog. - It's true
Christina, this is a lovely house. - It's Christineth, are you stupid or are you deaf?
Christineth! You idiot! You come to our house, You get my wife's name right!
What? - Christineth! Look, we really appreciate the hospitality ...
and we would love to just get the message off your cellphone, we believe it might give us an information regarding a kidnapping
Ok, Why don't you come to the kitchen and I will let you listen to it, and everyone else stay here.
OK, sweetie -- Come on.
Oh, there is my phone - Great, thank you ...
I hate you. Son of a bitch!
What did I ever do? I hate you! I hate you! You're so adorable, look at your face ...
Look at your face. You go: I love you. Say it! I love you, Christineth
You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy.
But that's not me.
But uh, I'm not. Shaved. -- Allen!
Allen! Allen! This police evidence, Terry, let's go!
Hey! You get back here. You make out my wife. - Allen!
I don't get it man.
I just do not get it. I mean that girl was Christineth was seriously hot
Your wife is crazy hot
I mean even that Brazilian security chick, she was ... I mean what is it with you and hot ladies?
First off, my wife is cute, she's not hot
Dude, you're insane, your wife is scolding hot. -- Do you want to listen to this message or not?
Whatever - You got one job mate, find a sucker ...
to invest with you so you can pay my boss back the money you lost.
I don't care who, I actually think I found a sucker
They are talking to Ershon. -- To invest 32 billion
Who's got 32 billion dollars to rob? -- Once I got the money, I'll falsify the records ...
to show a massive losses then you pay your employer
Now, since you're following me, I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue
.. and after that 400 .. [disconnected] -- I told you it wasn't a security team.
He was being abducted. - Obviously, but what kind of ...
Nobody leaves the house, without making love to my wife! - Holy shit! Let's go! - Yeah. He come out of nowhere.
That was 20 miles -- You get back here!
2300 Park Avenue. The offices of the lottery.
Holy shit! The lottery tickets we found.
Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses. 32 billion dollars
That 's the state's money -- What do we tell Mauch?
The guy lost his money. We have a sketchy cellphone message and an address. We're still half a case.
There's got to be some sort of paper trail If we find that, we can track it. Then we can go Mauch.
So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm, and I found some pretty interesting stuff.
It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has ... Hold on, I am up ...
Gretchel and Dawson accounting firm in Fairlawn, New Jersey has only one client, David Ershon
Pretty rinky dink operation for a guy like that.
Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm. That's a shitty day.
Do you have fun singing those songs? they are really depressing. - I do, they are full of rich history.
Damn it! I'm late, I'm supposed to call my lady - I though you said you guys split up?
Let's just keep our thing about work, OK? -- All right, Good bye buddy.
Get off of me, man
What the hell are you doing? - Dancing Terry, what the hell are you doing here? - I love you, Francine.
If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills
This is a ballet studio, Terry, OK? These poles are horizontal.
He loves you very much, Francine. - Who is this guy?
What are you doing here, Allen? - The code. I'm your partner.
I am here to support a friend and a work colleague
Francine, is this guy bothering you? -- Who's this? Your new boyfriend?
Great! You got a new boyfriend. -- He is my dance partner, Terry.
Ok, I know that this is a big surprise but there are other things in the world besides being a cop
Ok? And if you will excuse me. I'm gonna dance -- You don't think I cannot do this shit? Huh?
That was surprisingly good, Terry. -- I love you, Francine.
You do not know what love is. -- He loves you very much, Francine.
I heard it when he said it, thank you.
You know what you're doing to me? you're killing me inside, and go light on me man
You run around like a crack dealing drug addicts. - Terry!
He's right! It's not a proof of your behavior. -- Can you please go? And you too creepy guy, standing in the door?
Let's go Allen
I think we all experienced our own ballet today.
A ballet of emotion, feelings. -- You're kind of making things worse.
Are you ok? -- Yeah, I'm fine
See, I didn't knew you could dance.
We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids. Show them how queer they were. Ok?
You learn to dance like that sarcastically? -- Yeah, I guess. Stay out of my personal life, OK? The kid fly is private
Stay focus on the case, man See you in Jersey tomorrow
All right, Terry. Hey, That was liberating for me. I do not know how it felt for you.
Here. Check this out. An article from six months ago.
It's talking about how the lottery is looking to invest their 32 billion dollar fund more aggressively
So he's dealing drugs? -- No! It's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice.
Hey, I got you a gift. I just saw something and I thought of you and so
I do not want it to be weird, I just want it to be nice.
Of course it's weird, it's a grown man giving another man a present.
Here we go. Open it up
It's Ok, you're welcome
I like to do things like that. Take a look what it says.
F.B.I: Female Body Inspector.
You know, because we are both in law enforcement, we both like women, but I got a weird sense of humor.
I'm a sick puppy. I can't look at it It makes me laugh so hard
Me too.
Real nice, you know it's all class.
Ok. - Don't do that shit anymore - Yeah. Believe me I won't
Do you understand what so funny about it though?
Because it's the F.B.I., right? It has the same logo, the same shield and at first glance you're like, oh, ...
It's just a mug that says FBI but at the second glance, you're like, Female Body Inspector?
Get out of town. This is outrageous. - Shut up!
I am gonna climb over that anger wall of yours one of these days and it is gonna be boys
Shouldn't we tell Mauch, that uh we are checking this place out? -- For what? We're just going to check it out
No, but it's procedure. -- Terry answers to no one
I do what I do.
What accounting firm is closed at 11 am on a Tuesday?
This is a shithole
I love bombs. - I can't hear
There are blood blisters on my hands.
Oh God, How do they walk away in movies without fuzzy with an explosion behind them? No way!
Cop's bullshit. All that
When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, it was followed by explosion ...
That was bullshit. -- Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars. That was all accurate.
I need an MRI I have got soft tissue damage.
There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage
I just want to go somewhere and breastfeed right now.
Firemen thought it was a gas leak, but no way! It was timed!
They don't want to kill us but they want to scare us. -- O yeah, well, they succeeded, ok?
I'm tired of this.
Right? I am tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me. I want to go back to my desk.
Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears.
You can't escape it by hiding in your desk your whole life
You know what? Yes, you can. I've done it for years. Ok? There is no explosions at my desk.
There is no explosions at my home with my plain wife in my plain house.
What are you afraid of man?
I'm your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from?
I was a sophomore in college.
University I went to decided they needed to raise tuition
A classmate of mine, Brenda, in effort to raise money, and stay in school came up with a nifty plan ..
where she thought she dates guys and charge them money
I go out all the time with the whole bunch of you know boys.
And I kinda need somebody to help me out Like, you know, My partner in crime.
Yeah, I can make a schedule -- Yeah yeah yeah, that what I was thinking
Transportation services
Yeah. yeah. We'd be a good friend -- Thanks so much. -- She said she needed my help to make sure the dates went ok
That the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage
Oh my god, you were a pimp. -- What? God, No.
No, just trying to help a friend
We started making a lot of money.
Before you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends decided they wanted to be a part of it
Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting while they gave me money.
That's called the stable horse
They decided I shouldn’t use my real name
So we came up with the name Gator -- I'm telling you, you were a pimp.
No, are you even listening to the story?
Anyway, one day I wake up and I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see
I mean, I have gotten out of control and I didn't even realize that
You can't have a conscience in the pimp game
One night, two of my favorite girls, Candy and Jolene, said, We got to take you in, they dropped me off to the Emergency Room...
... that's where I met Sheila, I was a mess.
I made a promise to myself and to her, that I would never get out of control again ...
So soon as I graduate from College, I became an accountant for the police department
The most stable job I could think of
An accountant for law and order.
I just don't want to ever feel out of control like that ever again
Don't worry. I got your back
I say we get Ershon grilled and see if he cracks I'm tired of all this tippy toeing around
Ok
You can either walk the plan or take your panties off. The choice is yours
You want to take my panties off? -- You made a wise choice -- Mr. Ershon, detective Gamble and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here.
Gentlemen, please
Remember us, hot shot?
Of course I do, please sit
[There she blows ...]
Two of those ... water please No lime wedges, just cucumber
Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office.
It's an awful gas leak -- Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now
I just thank God no one was hurt, or injured in a bad way.
I absolutely appal death -- Hey Andrew Lloyd Webber, the jig is up, Ok?
You know there wasn't any security team that grabbed you, we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses
You talk or I beat you so we don't show no bruises
God, this water is good.
Terry, have you tried the water?
Shut up, Allen.
I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about.
I understand there's a bit of a mixed-up with the whole scaffolding business
The cucumber accents the water in such a way that ...
Perhaps, by a way of apology, I can offer you my personal court side seat for the Knicks game with ...
... access to the Ambassador club
Come on, Knicks! Come on! I got Knicks' fever. Catch him
Hey, it feels weird sitting here. Feels like it is a bribe. -- It is a bribe
Son of a bitch! That's a court side and I went blind
Come on! -- Call me!
That was a trick! - No more.
Gentlemen, you have a choice, Mamma mia or Jersey boys ...
Fantastic! Unbelievable!
Damn it! He did it again.
No more tickets! -- Sorry sir, I tried to keep them in the waiting room. -- That's Ok, Susan, uh, two glacier water with Mediterranean lime ...
No no, No more water! We're not here for that -- I was very much looking forward to having the water.
How great is Jersey Boys? -- It's not great.
It's fantastic. You totally undersold it
The pageantry, the costumes. Wow! What a musical
Hey, get over here
What's wrong with you? It's not what we're here for
We are gonna do good cop, bad cop.
Ok? The oldest game in the book for a reason. It works.
I'd come strong and you come in
I'm strong and you come in, Got it? - Got it
Hey you listen to me, you piece of shit. It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart
How did you cover your losses, huh? What drug cartel are you working with now?
Ok, wait wait .. I'll talk to you. You're reasonable. -- No no. Look at me!
Yup, You want to talk to me?
Allen, What are you doing?
I'm gonna make you a plate of human shit
Get away from me.
Look, I'm really sorry about that. I just uh ...
I saw how aggressive you were being and I thought, Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that, since
we are doing bad cop, bad cop
What? No, I said good cop, bad cop.
I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop -- Ok, then there it is
I thought you said bad cop, bad cop.
While you were going crazy, look what I snatched from his desk.
I think it's his phone sheet -- Oh nice!
Seven calls to the lottery office
That would be the evidence we need for Mauch -- Yeah
Get back!, Colombian drug lords. -- Where are you getting that from?
Can you imagine where you’d be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter?
Move!
We call this in, right? -- Looks like we got all the evidence we need.
I'm sorry, my butterfly.
Load them up and send them back to ...
Shit! -- What? -- What do you mean what?
Where are we?
We are in the high desert.
They took my shoes again man What the hell is it with taking shoes?
They took your wooden gun? -- Yeah
Hello! -- Hello, Gene ... I mean .. Captain, Captain, it's Allen Gamble.
Yeah yeah, where are you? What's going on?
Captain, it's a long story but I am just gonna cut to the chase We are in Las Vegas.
All right, we were, we were kidnapped, put on a freight train and shipped out here
Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me. -- Captain, I am being straight with you. Look.
We think something is going on, ok? We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses
How many times that I explicitly say to you: Lay off Ershon
Terry, Captain wants to know how many times he asked us to lay off Ershon
Twice. -- Twice. Terry says twice. I agree.
I'm hanging up. I am done.
I got to tell you I am starting for get a hand to that ... a taste for that pie girl
Martin and Fossi, super cops. -- In three, two, ... We busted that junkie ... - Uh huh
Got back 74,000 diamonds. 74,000. -- Boom -- Solved the Castian case
74,000? Dollars? That's all they took? There is millions of dollars of diamond in there -- How about this? How about you shut your face
All right? Just shut it -- Hoitz. Gamble. Captain's looking for you.
Captain? -- Yeah? -- Is it a bad time? -- No
Come on, come on -- Not me right? -- Yes, and you
Fellas, I'm sure you're uh familiar with the venerable DA Radford, he come to pay us some visit
Hello gentlemen. -- Hello sir -- Hey -- You know I was talking to Gene here
He prefers Captain. -- Yes, I was talking to Gene here and you know what's funny?
I don't know what you two have been up to, but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get called from
In 40 years, I've been enforcing the law, I've learnt one thing. When that happens. Stop.
Gene, how's the family? -- Good, Louis. Thanks for asking
My son is bisexual. -- Tremendous
Gentlemen, do we understand each other? Cut the crap
Will do. -- That guy never comes down here. 20 years, I think I've seen that guy only one time
He is a headway cap, that guy -- He was sitting right here.
Yeah. I think you miss the point. Anyway, look, blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River
Here you go Terry. You know what? I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun
to give me back my real gun? -- No.
We're going to give you this. It's a rape whistle.
You blow that if you're in any trouble. Someone with an actual gun will come and help you out
We were abducted, Captain. This shit is real. Ershon is dirty, he's targeting the lottery
Next, I want you guys to hand in all the evidence, you think you have to the S.E.C. That's under their jurisdiction.
Don't you get it? This case is talking to us. I'm a peacock, Captain. You got to let me fly on this one.
You know what Terry? Let's just settle this
Peacocks don't fly. -- They fly a little. They got a real running start -- As much as a penguin.
One more thing, do me a favor. Don't go chasing waterfalls. -- Is that an accident or you're trying to quote TLC on purpose?
I don't even understand your reference. -- You don't understand what you said?
I don't know what that is, get out. -- Whatever.
How did they got that story?
I'm tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing
Hey guys, there is a proxy vote for big reinvestment bit, pension coming up
So, if you just wanna come by ... -- Damn it, Bob.
Let me ask you something. What do you even do around here besides interrupt people?
Well, I served as a treasurer for the union I make a pot of decaf
Exactly, you're a worthless piece of shit.
You're probably right, Terry. It's why I feel so sad all the time.
I'm gonna go for a walk. -- Say something.
Come on, Bob. I didn't mean it, all right?
I'm upset.
These roast ribs taste like a dog's asshole -- Honey!
I'm sitting here thinking, who in the Who would slow roast a dog's asshole and serve it to their husband?
You would -- You're being awful
What's wrong? -- Captain took us off the case
I am sorry
I told Terry about my dark days in college and I ...
it brought up some feelings. -- Honey, that was a long time ago.
You are not that same person anymore
You don't get it. There's a darkness inside of me. It wants to get out and wants to walk around.
It wants some walking around money and it wants to buy some shoes ...
and it wants to walk up to the people and say Hey, Gator don't play no shit
You hit you feel me? Gator never been about that never been about playing no shit
Sweetie, I'm sorry. -- It's okay.
Remember that night we met?
The attending physician told me We have a drugged out pimp in the back
And I went back there and I pulled open that curtain ...
and I saw you. You were weak.
Scared, ass-up, enflamed, crying and at that moment I knew, Hey, he's no pimp.
Pimps don't cry.
Pimps don't cry ...
Pimps don't cry ... No they don't
They don't shed a tear. Pimps don't cry ...
They never shed a tear.
Come lay with me and be safe and let's make love. Come on
Every time you say 'be safe'. It tears me apart You got to let me be who I'm gonna be.
Allen, I'm pregnant.
Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to you?
Gator's bitches better be using the jimmies
I am sorry See, That's what I am talking about.
Oh my God, you need to leave. Get out!
Get out, Allen.
Get out!
Hey -- Hey -- What are you doing here? When I have lady troubles, I usually come here almost every night.
What are you doing here?
Sheila and I got into it tonight.
She threw me out.
You’re not a cop until you’re thrown out of the house, partner
Does it bother you that the Castian robbery only took $74,000 of diamonds?
They are junkies. Who cares.
No junkie can go down a 20-story zip line
Hey fellas, How are you doing?
We are about to have us a little scoop party in the red Prius over here if you want to join us
Are you Dirty Mike and the boys? -- How do you know who we are?
You left a note in that car. -- Police, shithead
They are cops. We gotta go. Come on! Hey, peace shitboys. They're Cops.
You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare.
We are gonna have sex in your car. It will happen again.
I don't know where I am gonna sleep tonight. -- Depend on what you're gonna be drinking. Jack of all trades
Drinks on me, come on. -- No, I already have a beer.
No no no, I'm talking about doing some serious drinking Drink with Terry Hoitz.
It's kind a sucks man. We worked our ass off on this case, now we got to hand over all the evidence?
Yeah. That is not right Oh my god, I'm hung-over
You guys in law enforcement?
Yeah, we are an independent government agency who longed with the F.B.I and the Federal Reserves ...
regulate stock markets and corporate fraud
And the Federal Reserve is the prison?
No, basically it is a held for profit bank that sets interest rates and moves money to other banks.
Is that a waste basket? -- Yes, right there.
Thank you
You, all right?
I am sorry. I got so drunk last night I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food
Come on in, fellas
You gotta be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer.
We are turning over our investigation to you?
Let me assure you, There will be no conflict of interest between me and David Ershon.
And if this were an actual investigation, I would immediately recuse myself
This is all the evidence we have I truly hope you take this seriously.
Yes, very much so
From everything I've heard I understand that you guys are the best in these types of investigations
Outside of Enron and A.I.G. and Bernie Madoff.
Worldcom. Bear Sterns. Lehman Brothers -- Ok, Thank you. Thank you, detective.
Would you like a sit? -- No, I'm good. -- Ok
Let me just assure you, fellas, David Ershon is an upstanding citizen
I'm playing squash with him tonight at the club, and we're having dinner
You listen to me you wisenut wimp monkey You play squash with Ershon right?
Your kids going to school with his? How do you know if he's clean or not?
I will take a look at your evidence, and I will take a second look at their financials
And when I come back, bust your ass, we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve.
He still don't understand the concept
What are you doing?
We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guys' lawyer.
Are you a big man? I am talking to you.
What? You wake up in the morning and decided to put your big boy pants?
Look, I'm wearing a belt. I got big boy pants on
Stop. -- We don't do that
You're scaring the shit out of me man. Stop it -- Is that how you conduct yourself?
In a democracy? -- What the hell are you doing man ?
I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time
It's exhausting.
It's like I'm partner with the Hulk. -- You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time?
because the more I try to do right, the more I screw things up.
We've got a possible jumper at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor.
All units, Firemen en route -- The S.E.C.
Beaman's office. -- We have to go.
But the Captain .. -- We have to go.
All unit, I need a respond, possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center.
Shit! Beaman. He's got to know something. -- Wesley.
Detective Hoitz and Gamble, We got this
I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating ...
I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn
We got no bullhorn -- Does anyone have a bullhorn?
Hey, Police business, I need to use your P.A. system. -- Ok, let me turn it on
Mr. Beaman? -- ... -- Mercy
I know Ershon's Wesley.
There is a lotto live for in this life.
Lot of great days like uh soda pop, fresh can of soda pop -- I do not care.
Give me that. I know how to talk to him.
Listen, we all know that you're scumbag and nobody cares about you
That's worse than what I was saying. I'm not going to lie to you, Don
People down here started to murmur that you don't have the balls to do it
I don't care -- Yeah, I say you can do it
I mean I don't want you to jump but you have the capability
Oh look he's flying
Stop it.
Half empty bottle of gin, chair knocked over, look at this, it's a clear sign of struggle
Make sure you got this, all right? -- Detective.
All your work is done here. You can go. -- What about Ershon targeting the lottery?
You know why Ershon was calling down to the lottery office all those times?
He's got to be hooking up with the Powerball girl She was on TV with all the numbered balls.
Yeah, she filed a restraining order on him last week.
It was right there in front of you the whole time You guys are getting transferred.
What? -- Traffic.
Yeah, that's right. You, You gonna walk a beep downtown You gonna walk a beep downtown. It's done
-- But Captain? -- No no no, It's done
Save yourself some gas -- Captain!
Is there an appeal process we can .. ? -- Got to do what you got to do Captain
Ouch. -- Wow. That hurts
Excuse me? Where's my car? -- They towed it. A couple of homeless people were messing around in it
That's an official police car -- You could've fooled me
Mauch is upset huh? -- Really?
The only thing I had to be proud of in my life was being a detective that was all I had.
Now it's gone.
I know, you still got me. -- Don't you get it? I don't want you Allen. Ok?
I never did. I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit
I can't believe you still doubt me, after everything we've seen
It is a real case and I'm a real cop.
We just got the wrong target for Ershon
You carry a rape whistle. -- This is real cop work.
There's nothing about you that makes a man a man.
Ok? You got no gun, no car, no wife and now you got no partner
Leave me alone.
A mud case -- Terry, I'm a cop, for your information, ok?
A broken partnership. -- I'm a cop.
And getting busted down to a shitty assignment Allen and Terry hit the trifecta
But sometimes when you get your ass kicked...
that's when you find that what's real.
And what needs doing
Whether it's directing traffic ...
or cracking a multi billion dollar fraud
Do you work here? -- Yes, I do
The wrecking ball, the crash in the Castian down there, they don't send the damage to your office?
Some police officers came by and shield it off
You know what they look like?
One of them had an Australian accent. -- You don't happen to do any business with the state lottery, do you?
No, my main client is Lendl Global Can I ask what is this about?
Gator needs his gag, you punk ass bitch!
Because That's what a real cop is
I never said to lock her up
A guy who does what needs to be done.
A guy who knows how to use dark side for good.
And then you move to Florida.
One, two, three, attack. -- Whoa
It's me, Allen. -- Tap on. Tap on
Are you tapping off? You're hitting me in the face. -- I'm tapping it off.
Are you crazy?
What are you doing man? I almost killed you. -- Turn off the lights.
What? -- They should be watching us.
Who? -- I found some great information.
About what? -- Some scary shit Terry, this is big
How did you get in here?
We cannot be too careful. -- What are you talking about?
This house might be bugged -- There's no bugs in here.
First off, I missed you. -- What's going on?
Did you hear what I said? -- Fine, I kind a missed you too
Thank you. I've found out whose losses Ershon has to cover
It's Lendl Global -- What? Lendl staged the Castian robbery as a distraction
so they can break into their own accounting firm next door
They did alter all the records to cover the losses that Ershon had cost them through all these bad investments
You're not supposed to be doing this
You're supposed to be walking the beat
I know. Pretty tricky though, huh? -- This is bad, Allen.
This is bad, no wonder the Captain wanted us to stay out of this
I bet Beaman started asking question and that's why they killed him
You see, Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down Ershon's leading it
Let's go tap the ground who the poor sucker they're making the deal with, but we got to stop it
It's about time the peacock fly. -- I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do.
So do I. We're cops -- No, I like what I do now
I like working traffic, it's a great gig -- What?
I like working traffic, I am not going with you.
Traffic? Bullshit
What are you talking about? -- I'm talking about my life.
The corner around the 54th and third Avenue, It hums, it is Terry's intersections
And the traffic guys, they are good guys.
There's one guy, Phillip, he can pee in the urinal from twenty feet. You got to see it Allen, you got to
What happened to you? What happened to this being our time?
No way Allen. I am out I'm done
Get in the car. -- Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden
Apartment pop, now get in the car -- You are not gonna shoot me.
Ok, I'll be honest. This is the second time I ever fired this -- So stop pointing it at me
Look, Tomorrow morning all I know is I am going to Mauch, all right? -- Or what? He doesn't care
He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers. I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why.
Turn on the news man, nobody cares -- I hope I'm not alone.
Hope you bring it
We have big day out there. Big one. We got a full moon. People are gonna be amped
All right? Let's see what we've got on hot tips, all right?
The new bath mats are in
One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights.
That’s for my other job. Ignore that, forget it.
Well don't ignore it if you live in Crown Heights. You know, walk in pairs
Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories -- Ok. I got to go. GO get them. Let's be careful out there
I would like to keep the oak together, and the maples separately, ok?
And this chopping boards ... -- Hey Captain!
Hey Allen, hey , how are you doing? What are you doing here?
Are you here for the bath mats? -- I need you to be straight with me.
Or, straight with us. -- Terry. Watch this now.
You could work in traffic today. -- Hey, Terry, look at this.
I thought you're working traffic today? -- Got them blocked the box. Besides, the partner's code, right? -- Thanks.
Why have you worked your ass off Trying to kill this case?
All right, fine! I'm gonna tell you guys something You 've really went into deep water on this one.
You've really went deep. Ershon's connected with all higher ups.
And I gotta save what little ass I have left, ok?
You know, you keep hiding from shit in the world, and eventually the world comes to your front door.
Nice! -- That's very nice! -- I heard it in an episode of Touched by an Angel.
You keep this thing real quiet and you make sure you have real evidence, And maybe I'll see what I can do ...
but if you make a lot of noise and you attract the media attention ...
then you bring the DA in on this, I am out, okay?
We're going in there like church mice. There is one case, one case in your career you go all in. This is it.
All right, then you do us proud. Because I do not want those scrubs
Really? -- No.
You're not aware that's a TLC song -- I have no idea what are you talking about
You said Chasing Waterfalls, you saying I don't want no scrubs. -- I don't even understand those reference -- Like a tick
I have no idea what you're talking about but Remember ...
this thing gets messy, We never talked.
You can trust us. -- Real quiet, you got to creep
Come on, you don't say Creep Creep unless you're quoting TLC
Hey guys, you know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right?
Yeah I guess we kinda knew that. But it's a drag I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero?
Not to be corny Maybe it's you guys
Are you ready? -- Yes.
The highlights are great. -- Thank you.
Sexy but serious. -- Thank you.
Who the hell are all these people? I was only expected one man.
You know, just some people I owe money to -- Then let's be here
Who are they? -- Patriots, entrepreneurs and the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria
You are out of money to the Nigerian ...
Yes, yes I do
You're a piece of work
Thank you. It'd be best to start it
This is good, baby, we're in the game and we know the score.
It kinda bugs me that we still don't know who Ershon is targeting
Is it the lotto? Who is it? -- Who cares.
Some rich prick
I had to tell you I'm tremendously excited about this deal.
I can assure you that every dime of your money will be invested with the utmost diligence
The returns are really exciting. I think our members is gonna be just thrilled
It made about 18 percent over the last ten years
Quiet as a church mouse. In and out
You know I got tingling in my balls you were talking about -- Beautiful
All right, listen up, I am detective Gamble and this is detective Hoitz We need your cooperation.
David Ershon, you are under arrest for fraud ...
embezzlement and the connection to the murder of Don Beaman -- Bad Idea
Hey guys! -- Bob, what are you doing here? -- I'm investing.
Remember I talked about that proxy vote a while back? This is what it was for
Holy shit! It's more aggressive investment strategy for the pension,
Allen, we are the suckers. They are targeting the police pension fund
Gentlemen, you are here illegally and without a warrant. We are within our right to take action.
So much for quiet as church mice. -- Go.
Who the hell are those guys?
Gentlemen, I can give you obstructive view tickets for "Rock of Ages"
But even I admit, that's not very tempting, I'm not made of tickets, God damn it
Shoot him. -- Jamie go get over here. You, go get the bloody car.
That's it mate, I have had it with this joker and his wooden gun
They gonna kill me and then they will kill you. -- I'm gonna kill you first.
And then they will kill me. -- We got two rogue police officers
They're armed and dangerous and holding David Ershon hostage -- Guys, we are good guys.
Exactly, they are the good guys. -- Where do we go? where do we go?
I have a small apartment no one knows about it
I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes. Not at the same time, that would be wrong.
Let's hear it from the top, every detail.
It is the best to tell the stories by starting from the end.
Briefly and then go back to the beginning.
Then periodically returned to the end, maybe giving different characters perspective throughout
Just a bit of dynamism, Otherwise it will be a linear story. -- Just tell us what happened.
I lost a bunch of money from some people, and now they want it back.
What about Don Beaman?
Beaman knew that I'd falsify my financials so they sent down Wesley to ...
try and keep him quiet.
They forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin and force him onto the ledge
It was just a matter of time before he fell.
At least we stop you from getting the pension fund
Well, you didn't, it's already in my account and by 9 o'clock in the morning
it gets into the Lendl equity fund then from there it's transferred to a dozen of offshore accounts
by 9.01 it's gone
What if we stop the transfer? -- But you can't
What if we stop the transfer? -- You have to be at the endemic bank at 9 o'clock exactly
Find the clerk, get the routing number -- We got to stop it
There's no way! I mean every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew?
They all be after us
You could, let me go, and I'll give you $10 million each.
It's not a bribe. -- Of course, it's a bribe. You're offering to pay us money to not do our job
It's not a bribe. -- We're hanging over here tonight
Nobody knows about this place. We'd be safe
And tomorrow we hit it
First thing first, I got to go see Sheila -- No way, it's too dangerous
Look, Terry, we don't know what's gonna happen to us tomorrow but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila
All right, go! Go! Be careful -- Thanks I will
You say hi to Sheila for me? -- Ok
Tell her, say, Terry was asking about you
make sure you know that I'd be there for you if anything happens
Yeah, drop of a hat. I'm there -- It's starting to get a little weird man
If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her
All of her wants, her needs and desires are now my responsibility -- Why do you say it like it's a pre-determined thing?
Just go, man -- Ok. Thanks --Go!
Chenko Gallery -- Francine, it's Terry, please don't hang up
Please pick up. -- Hello -- Hey Sweetie, I was praying you be at your mom's house
You know what, I can't talk anymore, I think the phone is being tapped
Oh, baby, where are you? I wanna see you --I am near the place where we did it 3 Halloweens ago, do you remember?
Umm, ok, yeah I got it
I just want you to know, watch out, I think they are watching the house
Don't worry sweetie, I think I have a way of getting to you
I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come, I mean, after all those years, after the restraining order
That was why I wanna see you again
Just the old lady
Hello Allen, -- Hello Mama Ramos. What are doing out here?
Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back
She also says she wants you on top of her
Holding her hair and riding her like a bucking brand ... sucks your thumb and says, Mami likey
You tell your daughter
He said, he'll always love you, and he's so happy that you're having his child
Allen -- He also says that he wants you to stare into each other eyes without blinking while you do it
and then afterward, lick the sweat off each other
I don't wanna do this
You say things that are too personal -- Ok
But just one more thing
She said she loves you
and wants to hold your hand and has ice tea with you
Come on! That's not all she said
She says other things -- Please, you don't realize I Might be killed tomorrow
Ok. She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones and have a three day sex marathon
That's more like it. Yeah
She wants to ... for a week because you guys did it so hard
She's lovely -- No more! He says things I can't say
It involves a mannequin hands and electric shaver taped to a golf club
Now what she say? -- She says she loves you
I'm so sorry. About everything. I just had to come here tonight and tell you that I love you
And the reason why I act like you are a plain wife is that I am afraid if I admit to how stunning and intelligent and how wonderful you are ...
I just loose you
Shut up, Allen! I love you. -- We have a place that's safe
I wanna break your hip
I am about to do you grandpa style
8:36 AM 24 MINUTES TO BANK TRANSFER
I brought some music
Not what I would have chosen. But all right -- Let's go, Monday morning. Time to go to work
Let's do it -- You want my gate code?
Shut up man
That's Wesley.
Yes
Where did you learn to drive like that? -- Grand Theft Auto.
They're coming.
Faster, Allen. -- Hold on. Hold on
Someone has been playing Grand Theft Auto.
Boom. I did that
Oh my God, that's what I'm talking about -- We jack-knifed them -- You see that? It went backwards and then turned upside down.
Gator took vans upside down, like a crazy washing machine.
Why are you calling yourself Gator?
It's a nickname I had in college I used to run a dating service.
He was a pimp. -- Yes, I was a pimp.
Right now, the street are a bloodbath. Statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here, 10 of you will be dead before your next birthday
Got a couple of tips, helped the guys stay out of the jail.
One, Try your hardest to not be black or Hispanic
It's a good tip. -- Two.
Gentlemen, we got a hot one. Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage. High speed car chase in progress.
Yes, gun, gun! Pass up the gun. Let's go people -- Here we go
Okay, any tazers? No? Good.
Who wants to go on a ride along?
Huh? Huh? All right, you sweetie. Come on. Let's go -- Move!
Oh cool, a helicopter. Must be covering the high speed chase
Who are those guys? -- That Chatson and Westes.
We went an Chechen version of Dora the Explorer
It went terribly wrong.
It seems like it's unfair that they have a helicopter.
Damn it.
God your hair is soft. -- I use hot oil.
They are gonna wreck us twice. coming from both directions
We're not gonna wreck
I'm going to wreck, you're right -- What do you mean right?
This is a very clever idea -- Yeah
Holy god. -- Let's go.
They are Nigerians. Yeah, I forgot about that
This is a shortcut -- Are you kidding me? You cannot go down there.
What are you doing?
Hit him.
Where are we? -- Chelsea Pier.
What the hell?
They are having a helicopter is definitely cheating
Go.
We are cops, hit the chopper
It's Martin and Fossi. Back off and stop calling.
Setting the perimeter, no arrest until we get there
Hit the light
Do not authorize that transfer. This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him. He will tell you not to authorize it, ok? Tell him
Tell him! -- Do as they say, stop the transfer.
Approve it Now.
Do not touch anything!
Swear to God, I'd blow your head all over this desk -- Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this Clerk
Oh yeah? Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon.
I have two competing bids from jilted investors.
They're at 30 million. And holding
No, wait. -- Take him away
But computers.
What if one day they were in charge?
If you don't shut up, I will cut your rear off with a butter knife
That's blunt. Blunt's worse.
You just stood there. -- I didn't know. How was I supposed to know that?
I knew it, man.
You kill us, we kill Ershon and you lost $30 million
Who's got the golden goose now, huh?
He is still valuable with a bullet wound, mate
You immediately called your bluff -- Get up, and kill the police.
I just want to make sure I get it right Did you this transfer approved?
Or not approved? -- Here, mate, I wanna kill just for fun.
Police, don't move Drop your weapons.
Drop it. Or be dropped, tall boy
Hope you like prison food. And penis.
Police stand on the ground.
Hey, hey, you ok? -- Hey Gene ... Captain, I'm sorry.
That's ok. Don't worry about it. You can call me Gene when we're not in office.
Thanks for coming by -- Atta boy
Oo, hey, come on, stay with me. We're losing him. He's dying.
No, I'm just resting -- Did I hurt you?
Just resting
Hey, let me tell you something, As far as the paperwork goes, we'll take care of it
You know why? -- Why? -- I'm not too proud to beg.
Come on. -- What?
That's not funny anymore. -- I do not know what you're talking about.
TLC references. -- Still nothing, I swear to you
I'm gonna go over and check on Terry. I have a bad knee, hold on.
It was the king of the mud cases
But Allen and Terry have worked it like stars.
Within 24 hours learning about Ershon's scheme and Lendl's massive losses ...
the government issued TARP fund to bail out Lendl
Lendl is in everything and we're gonna go everywhere ... -- They were too big to fail.
Ershon now resides in Palamino correctional facility in Florida
Still invests, currency is just different
Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder by a security cam footage ...
which Martin and Fossi hadn't checked
It only showed the back of their heads
But Allen's face back app was able to get a match to their faces
Terry married Francine, he played Harp at the reception and it was beautiful.
He learned how to play it in 8th grade to make fun the fairy that lived up the street
Terry asked Sheila to be his best man, but she declined
Let's be honest, we all want to be superstars and hotshots, But guess what ...
the people that do the real work. The ones that make the difference ...
you don't see 'em on TV or on the front page.
I am talking about the day in day outers, the grinders, come on man, you know what I'm talking about...
The other guys ...
Goldman Sachs, this case is gonna be nasty
Hi, cute glasses.
What was that? -- What?
Dude, What is it with you and hot ladies? What's your secret?
Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about
Tell me who you lost your virginity to? -- She actually became a TV actress.
Heather Locklear. -- What, Heather Locklear?
You've heard of her? -- Come on.
She was much chubbier back then -- I don't get it